Disclaimer

Entertainment Purposes Only

Deploy Tarot is a work of satire. It uses a tarot card metaphor to generate deployment advice that is, by design, not real deployment advice. Any resemblance between a three-card Major Arcana spread and your actual production incident is either a remarkable coincidence or a sign that you should reconsider your change management process.

The cards do not have access to your Git history, monitoring dashboards, test coverage reports, Jira backlog, or the Slack message where someone said "it's just a one-liner, no need to review."

No Liability for Production Incidents

Deploy Tarot, its operators, contributors, and the 22 cards of the Major Arcana accept no liability whatsoever for:

• Deployments made or not made based on this reading
• Outages, degraded SLAs, or failed rollbacks
• On-call pages received at 3 AM on a Saturday
• Loss of error budget, customer trust, or dignity
• Decisions made by The Fool (either the card or the person who deployed on a Friday)
• Any incident where the postmortem reads "engineer consulted a website"

On the Accuracy of Mystical Guidance

The verdict you receive — Ship It, Tread Carefully, or Abort Mission — is derived from a deterministic hash of your role, intent, and the current date. It is, in technical terms, a seeded pseudo-random number dressed in a cloak. The cards are not channelling the spirit of your CI/CD pipeline.

That said, a forced meditation on whether your deployment is really necessary is a documented engineering practice. If The Tower reversed gives you pause, that pause may be valuable regardless of its source.

The Punishment System

If you draw multiple times seeking a different answer, the deck will notice and respond accordingly. This is a feature. The cards reflect a universal truth: consulting more oracles until you get the answer you want is not a sound risk management strategy.

The Miracle Clause

Certain role and intent combinations carry a small probability of a miraculous positive outcome. This is also a feature. Sometimes The Cleaning Lady deploys the hotfix and everything is fine. The universe is not obligated to be consistent.

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Professional Advice

Deploy Tarot does not constitute professional engineering, security, legal, financial, or spiritual advice. For real deployment guidance, consult your team, your runbook, your monitoring, and — if necessary — your conscience. Not necessarily in that order.